non-smokers die every day

“i smoke.  if this bothers anyone, i suggest you look around at the world in which we live and shut your fuckin’ mouth”

*****

i’m not a smoker, well a very occasional one, but i have come to hate the non-smoking lobby, ash and their worrying government influence particularly, in light of their occasional super-emotive bullshit and misrepresentation of the facts.  i’m getting pretty goddam sick of calls for government intervention every time someone somewhere (usually with an agenda) identifies a ‘problem’.  so, unusually, finding an article by neil rafferty of forest in a mainstream newspaper i thought i’d spread the word.  even if you hate those stinky wheezey smokers and their filthy smoking habits he makes a bloody good point about bans and prohibition.

*****  

i have never been a huge fan of cheeseburgers.  they’re not the healthiest food you can buy and, unless you’ve just arrived on planet earth, you may be aware of an obesity epidemic.  but i don’t really care about any of that.  the fact is, they’re just not my kind of food.  i like pies.

that said, i’ve got no problem with anyone else eating cheeseburgers.  if that’s what you’re into, then crack on.  as long as you know what you’re doing and you’re not bothering anyone else, what business is it of mine? 

i wouldn’t go around demanding fast food restaurants be banned from displaying the different types of burgers they have on sale, or that the burgers be sold from under the counter.  i wouldn’t demand those little cardboard burger cartons carry a picture of a swollen heart plucked from a recently deceased burger fan.  i wouldn’t demand that burger bars be forced to apply for a special “burger licence”, nor would i demand that an 18 certificate be slapped on all films that depict gratuitous burger eating.

similarly, if i called for bottles of chardonnay or martini to be sold in brown paper bags and carry a picture of a diseased liver, you’d probably advise me to take some time off, or have a few drinks.

when it comes to smoking tobacco, however, all of the above are either already happening or being seriously considered by our government.  apparently it wants to “protect children” – the classic excuse from those who want to take away your freedom.  don’t get me wrong, i’m all for protecting children, but not only will none of these measures actually do that, but those who say they will are lying through their teeth.

the reason they support all these measures is because they want to turn smokers, the vast majority of whom are normal, law-abiding people, into lepers.

it is all rather nasty of course, but scotland’s smokers are getting used to it.  it’s the rest of you i feel sorry for.  they are already trying to “denormalise” driving a car or going on holiday by plane.  they’ll soon be trying to do the same with drinking, cheeseburgers and, yes, even pies.  after that, how long before they denormalise the books and films you like? how long before they denormalise words and ideas?  how long before they denormalise you?

and by the way, while they’re doing this, rebellious teenagers will be finding new and innovative ways to get their hands on tobacco, and all because the adults keep telling them not to.  in case you’re wondering, the best way to prevent kids from smoking is to actually enforce the existing age limit, instead of just talking about it.

so if you want to team up with the denormalisers, the very best of luck to you.  but while you’re being re-programmed, the rest of us will be out in the beer garden with a drink, a fag and something with cheese on it.